I felt you. You were a pea. Then a lemon. Then an eggplant. I followed advice. I read twelve books. I quit coffee. Could you tell I was scared? I talked to you, sang to you… I wasn’t ready. But then you were here. Ten toes. Eight pounds. Love. Big fat love.I held you. I fed you. I realized that I would spend my life doing things to make you happy — and that that would make me happy. And then there are the times I want to give up. You’ve made me rethink my sanity. You’ve made me want to fall on my mother’s feet and tell her that I get it. But then you smile and you say my name — and you grab my hand with those little fingers. We’re growing together. We are seeing the world like it’s new. I will open my heart and love will rain down all over you. You’ll giggle, and I’ll do it all over again. And we will walk hand in hand. Until you let go.”I made you, but you made me a mother.
So I’ve made it almost 4 months breastfeeding without a drop of formula.. this is honestly one of the best decisions I made for my son and myself as well.
My son has already taught me so much about myself in these past 3 months… My whole life I was always teaching myself not to get attached to people, that nothing is forever and after my father passing away I thought I was meant to be left, that a persons love for me was only temporary.. but my son looks at me with so much love and assurance, sometimes I look at him and just cry because nobody will ever quite realize how much I needed him.
I love reading to him, he always smiles and acts as if he knows what the story is about