My son has already taught me so much about myself in these past 3 months… My whole life I was always teaching myself not to get attached to people, that nothing is forever and after my father passing away I thought I was meant to be left, that a persons love for me was only temporary.. but my son looks at me with so much love and assurance, sometimes I look at him and just cry because nobody will ever quite realize how much I needed him.
Before I had my son one of my biggest fears was raising him on my own. I thought since he’s a boy he needed a male role model because let’s face it, I know nothing about being a man so how was I suppose to raise one? It’s been 3 months and that fear is starting to fade with each day, each day I go through things with my son, each day he smiles and reassures me that I am doing a good job. I still wake up heartbroken because his face is a reminder that his father isn’t around.. and I cry a little and hold my son a little closer.. that pain hasn’t gotten easier but I know it will, one day I know I’ll be able to look at my son and just enjoy his happiness instead of looking at him and seeing his father and question why doesn’t he want to be a part of this? What did we do so wrong? But at the end of the day I can’t let my heartbreak determine what kind of mother I become.. I love my son more then the world may know, I am becoming less afraid of raising a man.. and more so starting to realize maybe us women do know more about men then they know themselves
I love reading to him, he always smiles and acts as if he knows what the story is about
Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.
— Aristotle (via opinionsofa-singlemom)
I get so stressed and overwhelmed with being a mom, some days I feel like I am breaking down… I feel selfish at times wishing I could go back into time before I became pregnant and made smarter decisions. I Love my son with everything in me but somedays and nights are just really hard… especially without having someone to help or to give you a minute to get yourself together. I’m trying to be the best mother I can be but sometimes I let my own sadness and selfish thoughts get in the way of that… Even tho life was a billion times easier without a child, I stare at my son and he always looks back with such reassurance and trust and it makes me realize, perhaps I need him more than he needs me. . I never knew I was capable of loving someone so much